Article by Maya Vukovska
“Old twink” is an oxymoron - just like other expressions “seriously funny”, “organized chaos”, or “climbing down” it combines contradictory words. For those who are not familiar with the gay jargon (although I doubt there are such people among our readers), let me explain why it is so. In the gay menagerie, a “twink” is a skinny, hairless cis man in his late teens to twenties, with delicate, attractive features. So, you understand why you cannot be in your 40s, and still be a twink. Some may say that the sub-categorization of gay people is a degrading concept nobody really cares about. The truth is, however, that the gay community IS a tribal community. It's the innate human need to group things by common features, in this case - to group gay men by age and body type.
The problem with twink definition is that it suggests that once you turn the terrifying 30, you automatically become tribeless, an outlier. Even if you stick to a spartan workout and dietary regimen, the treacherous signs of aging cannot be stopped from telling your true age. In times when age discrimination is illegal, but ageism is commonplace, it is understandable why so many gay men are not excited about getting old. And aging must be an especially stressful process to twinks because, well, the community does not have a name for you. It sure feels lonely being left behind by your tribe, doomed to live the life of a gay pariah. So how can we evolve?
Twink death is a fallacy
There are just a few lucky guys, you’ll say, who, at the age of 40 and 50, look even hotter than they did in their twink years. And you'll instantly provide examples of famous former twinks who’ve proven that, like a fine wine, they only get better with age: Ricky Martin, Jonathan Bennett, Neil Patrick Harris, Wilson Cruz...
But let me tell you this: these twinks do not look the way they look only because they are celebrities, and celebrities by default always look good (we’ll pretend we’ve never seen Britney Spear’s recent paparazzi shots). These men didn’t cling to keeping their teen appeal - instead, they evolved. They let themselves grow old, but not in a sloppy, desperate manner.
How to stay and feel young
General self-care and staying active are the keys.
And don´t forget to moisturize - not only your facial skin but also your scalp.
Eating is also important. Metabolism inevitably slows down with age, which means at 35 it's highly improbable that you still weigh 140 at 5′ 11″ like you did at 18. What you can do in this respect is reduce food intake, and transform it into muscle mass. Have you seen the six-pack and the muscular quadriceps of 50-year-old Ricky Martin? Well, this is what I am talking about.
Remember that losing your twink credentials is not the end of the world, and it doesn’t mean that you cannot still be a good catch. Recapturing youth sometimes can be an exhausting endeavor, and if you want to spare yourself the effort, just let your body hair grow wild, and stop freaking about the smile lines and the couple of pounds you’ve gained during the holidays.
Embrace reality
My flatmate in Copenhagen, José, is a 36-year-old gay guy from Madrid, Spain. He is 6'4" and extremely skinny, with mediocre fashion taste, thinning hair, and an undying love for the boys' bands of the 90s. He is also quite boring but mild-natured, and, alas! unlucky in love. I guess his insecurity about dating guys in Denmark stems from his distorted image of himself because he believes that he is still the twink he was 15-20 years ago. As an unbiased bystander, I can tell that he is far from the image he has created in his head. His tall, thin, tattooed body may have captured the attention of the hot-sugar-daddies once, but not anymore. So, instead of evolving (yes, that’s the word of the day, kids), he chooses to get stuck with the unrealistic version of José, trying to sell it… at a discount price.
I am telling you about poor José here because I want to deliver an important message to all the aging twinks out there. Being 30+ is not a diagnosis, guys. You need to leave your naive and childish mentality behind - something José has failed to do - and ask yourself, Am I taking proper care of myself? Am I living a genuine life? Because, you know, the harder you try to stay eternally twinkish, the more desperate you begin to appear.
