Dos and Don'ts for the First Post-Break Up Date

Article by Ben Haynes

Moving on after a painful breakup is a difficult chore. In previous posts, we’ve discussed the best ways to do so. As we all know, one of the best ways to move along with your life is to put yourself back out there and meet new people. New friends are always a great start, but eventually you’ll likely meet someone who you’ll want to explore things a little deeper with, and for that you’ll need to be prepared! There are plenty of things you should and should not do as you prepare for this, as well as a few things you may not have considered.

Do: Take it Seriously

Even if your heart and mind are elsewhere, don’t forget that the guy you’re planning to meet is a human being with feelings, too. Be sure he knows that you’re present in the moment with him the entire time you’re with him. Ask him open-ended questions that will help you learn something about his life. Even though it’s the first date and you’ll likely not be going too deep into talking about the past, it’s still a show of good faith and tells your date that you are present in the moment with him.

Don’t: Show Up Late

A lot of us operate on Gay-People-Time, which means we can sometimes run behind because…we’re gay. But that’s no excuse when someone else, a total stranger no doubt, carved time out of their schedule to meet you and get to know you. Respect his time by being where you say you’ll be, when you’ll say you’ll be there.

Do: Dress the Part

No, you’re not attending the Met Gala, so you don’t have to fret too much. You should, however, make sure what you’re wearing is comfortable and presents you in a positive light to the new guy. Grab that shirt that shows off your pecs or wear those pants that perfectly accentuate your amazing ass. He’ll definitely notice and appreciate it!

Don’t: Get Sloppy Drunk

Listen, we’ve all accidentally sipped a few more cocktails than we meant to once or twice. But even if you’re meeting for drinks at the local club, you should remember that this is the first impression you’re giving this new guy. It’s likely he’ll be telling plenty of people how it all went next time he sees them, and you’d rather not have your name synonymous with “messy.”

Do: Give Yourself the Space to Be Nervous

Regardless of how long it's been since your last first date, it’s perfectly normal to feel anxiety building up around the prospect of meeting someone new. Embrace this and accept that it’s healthy (and it likely tells you that you’re probably a little excited). Who knows where it will go? Maybe it’ll be the one and only time you’ll ever see this guy. Maybe you’ll spend plenty of years together. Regardless, just be proud of yourself for getting back out there and have fun! (...and if he’s really hot, be sure to set up date number two, and three and…)