Okay bottoms, let’s have a little come-to-Jesus moment, shall we? 💅

We need to clear something up—and I say this with love, lube, and the utmost respect for your kneecaps:

Being submissive in the bedroom does NOT mean you’re a passive ghost on dating apps.

Because lately I’ve noticed a disturbing trend that has me clutching my pearls and deleting messages mid-scroll. Here’s the situation:

You match with a guy. You slide into his DMs. You say something clever, flirty, and slightly slutty—as one does. You ask questions. You carry the convo. You basically throw your whole hole into making a connection…

And then he gives you nothing. Nada. Zilch. The occasional “lol” or “haha” like you’re a performing seal on a date with a dead WiFi signal.

And when you eventually stop messaging? Suddenly you’re the bad guy.

“How could you ghost me?! I’m just submissive! I like when the other guy leads!”

BABY. Being submissive doesn’t mean being emotionally unavailable in the chat. 😤

Newsflash: Submissiveness Is a Bedroom Preference, Not a Personality Disorder

Let’s be real: too many of y’all are using “I’m submissive” as a get-out-of-social-interaction-free card.

Like sorry, being into choking and calling someone “sir” doesn’t exempt you from participating in a conversation.

You can still text back.

You can still ask questions.

You can still plan a date.

Being submissive doesn’t mean your tongue is broken, sweetie.

 Power Bottoms Know the Truth

Some of the most commanding, confident flirts I’ve ever met are also full-time bottoms.

They know how to slide into your DMs with precision.

They make plans. They crack jokes. They bring ENERGY.

And yes, they’re still the ones face-down-booty-up when the time comes.

Because real submissiveness is not about silence. It’s about enthusiasm, communication, and knowing what you want.

Let’s Blame the Apps (Just a Little)

Yes, dating apps have turned us into conversation goldfish.

You match, you flirt, then someone newer and hotter shows up and you forget the first guy even existed.

We’ve all done it. We’ve all been ghosted. We’ve all ghosted. It’s a lawless land out there.

But if you genuinely like someone?

Stop playing dead. Engage. Ask them how their day is. Tell them you like their smile. Drop a thirst trap with intention.

Nobody’s asking you to recite poetry, babe. Just give us something more than “I’m a submissive, you do the talking.” That’s not a dynamic, that’s an excuse. And we’re not buying it.

You Can Be a Sub Without Being a Snooze

You can want to be bent over and still be the one who initiates plans.

You can be a blushing virgin or a full-blown power bottom and still carry a decent chat.

Just remember: you’re not an object, you’re a full human with a personality, a story, and hopefully a working phone charger.

Use it.

Now go forth, text back, and make the first move.

Daddy will be proud.