By Eris Chase

Let’s journey into getting you hard again, and the very real, very valid, very  medically installed miracle of the modern age: the penile implant.  

Has your cock been more of an introvert lately and you’ve been faking a  headache for the last two years since that’s the last time you rememberer  things down south being extra ridged? Well, then you’ve probably been  thinking, Do I need a pump in my pants? Is it time to invest in a little magic  between my thighs? Could I truly get hard again after so long?  

Uhhhh… HARD YES!!! Let’s bring your second in command back to life, shall  we??? How about a little hard truth and some science stuff, yes? Follow along  as we drop the details!  

***But, before we go even a paragraph further, let’s get serious, if you are in need of some modern medical enhancement, it doesn’t mean you’re old or  broken or less of a man. It means you’re ready to fuck and fuck hard. You’re all  good, you just need a small intervention to get you back in the swing of  things***  

So… Implant, You Say?  

A penile implant, aka penile prosthesis, is a surgically implanted device that  makes your cock hard again. Not “sort of hard.” Not “please stay up till I finish”  hard. We’re talking crowbar solid, rail their soul from their body hard.  

The fan favorite is the inflatable implant: two cylinders go in your dick, a pump  is tucked in your balls, and a little reservoir of fluid hides in your abdomen. You  squeeze the pump when you’re ready, and “Oh! Hey, erection”. It’s like a bionic  dick, but with out all the noisy metal parts.  

There’s also the malleable implant, which is always in a semi firm state and just  needs to be “posed” into position. Not unlike that one guy who’s “always  ready” in your DMs at 2 a.m. 

Both are discreet, effective, and hot AF once you know how to work them.

Why Get One? Aren’t There Pills for This??  

This is easy, babes, because erectile dysfunction happens, and not just to the  octogenarian crowd either. It also happens far more than you think, and pills  aren’t effective nor recommended for everyone. According to science, ED can be caused by:  

• Prostate cancer treatment  

• Diabetes  

• Nerve damage or spinal injuries  

• Cardiovascular issues  

• Low testosterone  

• Anxiety, depression, and trauma  

• Or just plain biology saying, “Nope. Not getting up.”  

If you’re just floating around this life in a sea of disappointing erections,  unreliable body chemistry, or the awkward pause while you wait to see if you’ll  get hard again mid session, it might be time to pump up.  

Because sweetness, you deserve to feel like Asmodeus on a day pass outta  hell, and your partner deserves to be properly split open by an extra potent  you!!  

What’s Recovery From the Surgery Really Like?  

No sugar coat needed, it’s not bad at all. Surgery takes about an hour, and  most guys are home the same day or the next. You’ll be sore for a few weeks,  so, no fuck fest yet, but once you’re cleared? On demand boners that stay up  as long as you want. You could write a chapter in your novel while still hard. You  could make tea and then come back for round two while still hard. You could stroke it through your Andrew Christian jock while someone begs you to fuck them, and still be hard. You feeling it??? 

Ummm…. *whisper voice* will I still orgasm?  

YES. You’ll still orgasm!! You’ll still feel pleasure. According to the Texas Center  for Urology, “A penile implant does not affect a man’s sensation on the skin. It  does not affect orgasm. Ejaculation is not affected.”  

You’re just trading up into a world with a guarantee of rigidness. You’ll feel  everything. You’ll come just like you always did, without fearing a wilt mid  thrust.  

Your First Time With the New Equipment  

The first time you use it, it’s going to be a tad surreal. You’re in the moment,  maybe a little nervous, maybe a little high on anticipation, and you pump it up.  Just a couple squeezes, and suddenly… “Holy FUCK, it works!!” Your cock stands tall like a majestic redwood! Just like you remembered.  

Your partner runs their tongue along the shaft, murmuring “fuck…” like it’s a  prayer. You’re hard. So hard. And when you slide in? It’s like the world realigns.  The moan they let out is real. The thrusts are deep, controlled, relentless. You  don’t have to worry about staying hard. You ARE hard, baby. You’re present,  powerful, and fucking glorious. When you cum, it’s everything. You didn’t lose  anything, baby. You just upgraded to a custom designed dick rig! And we are  SO here for that vibe for you!!  

So, to wrap it pretty… if your sex life’s been on pause, this might just be your  reset button. Your comeback. Your hard reset. Get the pump. Get the surgery.  Get the power. Get back on top and enjoy it all!!