by Jeff White

 
Oh, gather ‘round, darlings, because Project 2025 is serving us a hot mess of economic drama straight from the playbook of a former reality TV star! If you thought inflation was wild now, just wait until Trump and his crew of misfits get their hands on the Federal Reserve. That’s right—they’re scheming to take over the Federal Reserve, planning to twist interest rates and monetary policy to boost their political fortunes. Buckle up, folks; we’re headed for an inflationary circus that could make Turkey’s economy look stable!

The Trump Economy Tour: Next Stop, Total Mayhem (no not the drag queen.) 

Picture this: Trump running the Federal Reserve, adjusting interest rates like he’s playing with a fidget spinner. What could possibly go wrong? Mixing politics with monetary policy is a recipe for disaster. Just look at Turkey, where inflation recently soared to a staggering 52% in September! Imagine the uproar if our inflation rate hit that level. Right now, people are already complaining about our current inflation rate of around 2.53% in August. Can you even fathom the outrage when it’s 52%? “I just wanted to buy a loaf of bread, not remortgage my condo!”

Historically, we’ve seen how bending monetary policy to political whims can end in disaster. Enter Arthur F. Burns, who was Fed Chairman during Nixon’s reign. In a classic case of “who’s really in charge here?”, Burns buckled under Nixon’s pressure to keep interest rates low for his political gains. The result? Stagflation—a delightful cocktail of stagnant growth and skyrocketing prices, with unemployment soaring to nearly 10%. In 1979, we even saw a 5.9% unemployment rate paired with an eye-watering 11% inflation rate. Imagine inflation hitting over 11% while you’re left wondering if your paycheck can even cover a night out. Spoiler alert: it can’t!  

Stagflation: The Ultimate Buzzkill 

Let’s break down stagflation for those who may not remember the ‘70s disco era. It’s when inflation rises while economic growth stalls, creating a perfect storm of unemployment and sky-high prices. Imagine trying to make rent while your paycheck loses value faster than a bad haircut. Not cute!

If we go down this path, brace yourselves for some ridiculous consequences. Remember when a dozen eggs felt like a splurge? Well, soon you might be wondering how to afford that box of 12! “Sorry, can’t take you out tonight—I’m saving my pennies for breakfast.” Picture brunch turning into a bargaining session: “How many eggs can I get for this blowjob?" Fortunately, some of us might already have this negotiation game on lock.

With runaway inflation, everyday items could cost as much as a designer handbag. A simple gallon of milk could set you back $20, and let’s not even start on avocados! You might as well label them luxury items.“Sorry, can’t splurge on that avocado toast; I’m trying to channel my inner minimalist—so, you know, just bread and tap water!”

The Bottom-ing Line

As Project 2025 aims to turn the Federal Reserve into Trump’s personal piggy bank, let’s keep our eyes peeled. The last thing we need is to swap political ambition for economic stability, leaving us all scrambling to afford our next meal. If prices keep inflating like my drama-filled DMs, we’re in for a wild ride!

In a world where basic expenses could become a challenge, let’s make sure we’re voting wisely and keeping a sharp eye on what’s coming. Hit up Vote.org to ensure your fabulous voice is heard! Because if this inflation train keeps rolling, we’ll all be serving “Lip Sync for Your Life” in the grocery aisle, reminiscing about the days when breakfast didn’t cost an arm and a leg!

September 23, 2024 — Andrew Christian
Tags: AC Hot Takes