When to say “No” to the weird fantasies of your FWB
Article by Maya Vukovska
Hey, Jim, do you fancy a fuck, man? Hearing that line from a buddy with whom you are used to hanging out and drinking beer may feel awkward. But only at first. Once you succumb to the temptation, you soon realize that a blowjob or a quick fuck during the halftime of the football game won’t ruin your bond. On the contrary, it will add something extra to your friendship. The biggest benefit of the friends-with-benefits arrangement is that the partners are so comfortable with each other and take sex so lightheartedly that they can live happily ever after… Till kink does them part. Once, the renown American sexologist Dr. Alfred Kinsey said that the only unnatural sex act is the one that cannot be performed. To him, all sexual pleasures were equally valid. If I have to interpret the doctor’s words in the context of today’s topic, I’ll say that no kink is abnormal, or shameful. And I will add: But only as long as it is mutually enjoyable. So, what if you find your FWB’s sexual fantasies weird, unacceptable, and even abhorrent, but you're uncomfortable discussing it with him? Rule number one for any intercourse that includes kink and BDSM is that both parties are on the same page regarding their intentions and wishes for this relationship. Setting boundaries is rule number two. This is important because when pleasure turns into embarrassment and discomfort, it is not fun anymore. If that happens, you simply have to turn your FWB down. I know that you don’t want to hurt his feelings, but keep in mind that it’s not the same situation as when he’s asking to borrow your car, to which you can’t say no.