From Petty to Creepy, These Are The Worst Things You Can Do After a Hookup
Article written by Kendra Beltran
Booty call, hookup, one-night stand. Whatever the term, they all mean the same thing. A one-time fuck session that really shouldn’t have any strings or feels attached. However, some believe that fucking a random you met online or at the bar and talked to for all of five minutes warrants a lifetime connection. Yeah, no. Hookups are about living (and fucking) in the moment, so when you try and make something more out of them, things get really fucking awkward. With that, we’re taking a look at the pettiest, creepiest, and downright strangest things you can do after a hookup.
Stalk Their Socials
It is one thing to go and follow someone after a hookup with the idea that perhaps later down the road you two will be lonely and horny enough for a part Deux, but to go DEEP into their socials is a whole other story. Liking posts from 2014? Yeah, everyone knows we all lurk way, way back but to actually double tap and let them know you were digging deep? Oh honey, no. Also, don’t be that person who goes on a follow and friend request spree. Instagram or Tik Tok is one thing, but Facebook? What are you doing? If things go well with one follow, then proceed but if they sort of just leave you hanging and never like anything you post, just leave it at that.
Friend Their Friends
You fucked one time and now think it’s somehow okay to start following their whole crew? No. Just. No.
Stalk IRL
Social media stalking is one thing, but to take it a step further and show up at their apartment like you casually happened to “be in the neighborhood” or near their place of employment? Do you want a restraining order with your name big and bold across the top? If things did go well during the hookup and you want to see them again, just call first. Don’t ever just show up out of the blue.
Leave Too Many Voicemails
If you did feel a connection or want to see them again and call, don’t blow up their phone like they’re a radio station giving away Lady Gaga tickets. If they don’t answer, leave them a voicemail and perhaps text them a week later. If nothing comes of either, you have got to bite the bullet and move on.
Spread Rumors About Them
This is definitely top-tier petty because it’s like, okay you had sex and they didn’t return your call. You’re an adult and should act like one and not like a scorned student in some teen movie from 1999. Spreading rumors about someone because they didn’t like you back? Not a great look.
Say “I Love You”
There are some people that can fuck for months without catching the type of feels that would lead them to saying those three infamous words. So how someone could manage to say that phrase after just one singular fuck? Pretty wild. There are a lot of ways to use your lips during a hookup and saying that ain’t one of them.
Ghost
On the flip side of all of this, it’s pretty rude to just totally ghost someone. If someone you fucks shows interest in you afterward, the least you can do is return their call or text. Even if it is to just break their heart into a million little pieces when you tell them it was just about the sex and nothing else will ever come from the previous night, but hey - it was fun and good luck on your future endeavors. Okay, perhaps that last part was a little too job interview gone wrong but you get the point.