People tune into the Olympics once every four (or so) years for a variety of reasons. Patriotism, curiosity, wanting to stay on top of the trending news, half naked people who are bodied the fuck up - often glistening, pride, abs, the love of sports, more abs. Yeah, so hot ass athletes are a huge reason why many of us watch the Olympics like a flock of seagulls eyeing a bag of Cheetos on the beach. I mean, there aren’t old Michael Phelps adorned cereal boxes taking up room in my closet for nothing. That dolphin/man was my #1 Olympic crush but hot damn, he’s since turned commentator and stepped aside for a whole new crop of bodied up athletes to come into view. So without further ado, here are the sexiest Olympians from Team USA who make watching the games worth it.
Andrew Capobianco, Diving
There is a lot of incredible shit that goes down at the Olympics, but up near the top of the list is diving. Who knew jumping into a pool could be THAT interesting? The action is already wild, but then you add a gymnast turned diver into the mix and the results get that much more interesting. In case you missed it, we are talking about North Carolina’s Andrew Capobianco.
Trayvon Bromell, Track & Field
This Baylor University grad and track star who’s already been to the Olympics two times before is back in Tokyo looking for some big wins. We’re not sure about all that, but we do know that he could walk away with some hearts because hot damn, that’s a fine ass man.
Eddy Alvarez, Baseball
Miami Marlins’ Eddy Alvarez just made baseball seem a whole lot less boring.
Heimana Reynolds, Skateboarding
Someone call Avril because they finally put Sk8 Bois and Gurls (that’s how she’d spell it, right?) in the Olympics, and we could not be happier. Especially since that means looking at Heimana Reynolds with his mid-00s Abercrombie vibes.
Sam Mikulak, Gymnastics
You know when you say you’re watching a movie for the plot, but it’s just because Chris Hemsworth is shirtless? Yeah, that’s what it’s like when we say we’re watching gymnastics for the love of the sport, and it’s just because Sam Mikulak is on screen.
Michael Andrew, Swimming
Fact: I graduated with honors in high school timing races for the swim team. Sadly, none of the participants looked a damn thing like Michael Andrew. Was I robbed? Yes.
Michael Norman, Track & Field
Southern California’s Michael Norman decided to take that million dollar smile to Japan to ensure that the whole world just falls head over fucking heels for him.
Simeon Woods Richardson, Baseball
Speaking of smiles that could lead many to hormonally overload, Toronto Blue Jays’ Simeon Woods Richardson is giving Michael Norman a run for his money.
Nyjah Huston, Skateboarding
All that ink *fans self*
Damian Lillard, Basketball
Would it be weird to get really into basketball this deep into adulthood because really, have you seen Portland Trail Blazers’ Damian Lillard?
Yul Moldauer, Gymnastics
You don’t think about how much upper body strength gymnasts have until you see one you want to pick you up and treat you like a ragdoll. Which is exactly the thought process one’s mind goes through when staring at Yul Moldauer.
Michael Hixon, Diving
Not giving this face a deal to pimp $5 footlongs after the Olympics would be criminal.
Pita Taufatofua, Taekwondo
Okay, so Pita Taufatofua isn’t on Team USA but when you make holding a flag seem like porn, you make the damn list.
