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By Eris Chase  

If you know me in real life, you know I am the world’s easiest laugh. I’ll spend all day  deep in the “ha-ha’s” with my huge, toothy smile wrapped around my head. So, when  I found myself choking (in a Heimlich maneuver about to be performed on me kind of  way) on a piece of steak at a drag show because our friend David was telling a story  about dicks and a sex club, I wasn’t shocked. Scary, yes, but not the worst way to go  either—surrounded by friends chuckling about cock over adult beverages and  decadent food. It got me thinking, if I were to die at a drag show, who would I want to  send me to the abyss in a death-by-comedy-queen???  

Here’s a quick hit list of queens who don’t just lip-sync for their lives—they’re out here  making us cackle like hyenas drunk on nitrous oxide while delivering camp and sass  that defy the laws of good taste.  

Jackie Beat: Drag’s Joan Rivers  

No one has been there, done that like the OG savage herself, Jackie Beat, except for  Lady Bunny. If she were a perfume, she’d be “Eau de Bitter”. With her deadpan  delivery and raunchy show tunes—which she never remembers the words to—she is  drag’s Joan Rivers: relentless, sharp, and utterly iconic. Jackie doesn’t just sing; she  verbally smashes you to bits, leaving you laughing so hard you forget to be offended.  She’ll have you questioning your life choices, your outfit, and the wisdom of ever  leaving your house again—and loving every second of it.  

Bianca Del Rio: Drag’s Sweetest Mean Girl  

Acid tongue and a heart of gold. Sure, she’ll roast you into oblivion, but it’s all  wrapped in the fuzzy warmth of someone who is truly brilliant in her craft. She’s the  queen who’ll have you laughing and pondering, blending razor-sharp wit and smarts  in a way that leaves you begging for the show to go into a tenth encore. Bianca makes 

you feel like you’re in on the joke, never just the target of it. You leave her shows  feeling loved, even after you’ve been read for the filth you are.  

Bob the Drag Queen: The Smartest Queen You Know  

You can’t talk about drag comedy without mentioning Bob the Drag Queen, the  queen who effortlessly mixes social commentary with gut-busting humor. She’s got  brains for days. Bob isn’t just funny; she’s smart funny. She’ll educate you on race,  politics, and the complexities of the queer experience while making you do that ugly,  yet endearing, cry-laugh. She’s a powerhouse who uses humor to break down  barriers, and we all live for her every word while entering the room purse first.  

Billy L’Amour: The Vegas Showstopper  

High kicks and the bawdy humor of an old-timey lounge act—that’s Billy L’Amour. You  can easily imagine Billy striding out through velvet curtains onto a smoke-drenched  1950s casino floor, dripping from head to toe in rhinestones, with her head decked  out in her handcrafted wig line. She’s got the legs for years of the ballet dancer she is,  the voice of a crooner, and the cheeky humor of a classic showgirl. Billy blends camp  and comedy with a vintage flair that feels both nostalgic and fresh. When she’s  serving you a slice of Broadway or a modern belted tune, you’ll be throwing tips and  gasping for air.  

Sherry Vine: The Parody Princess  

The only drag queen to make me pee myself in public. Truth. Sherry Vine, your very  own Weird Al of drag, can take any song—pop anthem or Broadway ballad—and twist  it into something hilariously filthy. Her classic “Hole Clean,” a take on Dolly’s “Jolene,”  is pure trashy, X-rated comedy gold. Her performances aren’t just funny; they’re  brilliantly obscene, making her a true master. Sherry knows how to deliver the laughs  that make you beg her to stop, but no, keep going. 

So, here’s to the comedy queens worth choking to death on your medium-rare filet  over. May their wigs stay snatched, their jokes always land, and may they continue to  literally slay the house down. We bow to your brilliance.

September 17, 2024 — Andrew Christian
Tags: Gay Culture
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