So, you’ve fallen for a gay porn star. First of all, congrats! You’ve entered a relationship dynamic that’s equal parts exciting, exhausting, and occasionally just plain weird. Dating someone who’s seen more action than a superhero movie comes with its own unique set of challenges. And no, I’m not talking about their stamina (though, let’s be honest, that’s either a perk or a serious workout hazard).

Let’s dive into seven struggles you’ll definitely face when dating a porn star—because honey, it’s not all free lube and VIP access to spicy content.

1. Their Phone is Their Real Boyfriend

Forget quality time—because unless you have a ring light and a Twitter following, good luck getting their attention. Porn stars, like influencers, live in their phones. Whether they’re posting thirst traps, responding to fans, or networking, their screen time is through the roof.

You might try having a meaningful conversation, only to realize they’re halfway through crafting the perfect “Good morning, boys 😉” tweet. Or worse, you’re on a romantic dinner date, and they suddenly remember they need to DM a guy back about custom content pricing. Love in the digital age is hard, but dating someone whose work and social life are fused into their phone? Almost impossible.

2. The Constant, Unsolicited Porn Q&A

For some reason, people assume dating a porn star means you want to hear every single question they have about their career. You’ll be at brunch, enjoying your avocado toast, when someone at the table suddenly starts interrogating your man like he’s on a Netflix docuseries.

“So… how big are your scene partners, really?” Chomp. “Do you actually enjoy it or is it just acting?” Sip. “What’s the craziest thing you’ve done on camera?” Fake smile.

Meanwhile, your porn star boyfriend is just trying to eat his damn omelet in peace.

3. Expecting Porn-Star-Level Performance in Bed—Every Time

Listen, not every night is a full-length studio feature. Sometimes, even a porn star just wants to cuddle, eat pizza, and fall asleep mid-Netflix episode. But people assume that since their job involves non-stop passionate pounding, they must be down to film a personal remake of their latest scene at all times.

Reality check: Some nights it’s fireworks. Other nights it’s “let’s just do hand stuff and pass out.” And occasionally, it’s “not tonight, babe, I shot three scenes this week and my hole needs a break.” Fair.

4. The Struggle to Have a “Normal” Romantic Connection

When someone’s entire career revolves around seduction, attraction, and being desirable, it can be hard to switch gears into a deep, emotional relationship. How do you build trust when your partner is physically intimate with other people on a regular basis? How do you compete with thousands of online fans worshiping them daily? How do you separate their work life from your personal life when sex is their work?

It takes a confident, secure partner to make it work—but it’s not always easy.

5. Public Shirtlessness is Inevitable

If you’re dating a porn star, you’ll have to get used to your man constantly showing skin in public. Whether it’s walking around shirtless, randomly flexing, or unbuttoning his shirt for literally no reason, he treats his body like a business card.

Even something as innocent as mowing the lawn becomes a paid content promotional opportunity. Your neighbors might think he’s just super into yard work, but you know better—he’s strategically positioning himself in the sun for optimal thirst trap lighting.

Just accept it. It’s part of the brand.

6. They Might Be… Uh, Too “Performative” in Bed

Porn stars know how to turn it on for the camera—but sometimes, they forget to turn it off when it’s just you two. You want passionate, intimate sex. He starts moaning theatrically, throwing out scripted dirty talk, and looking for the non-existent camera.

“Babe, chill. No one’s watching.”

“Oh. Right. Sorry. Force of habit.”

It’s hot at first, but if every session feels like a live audition, it can get old fast.

7. The Jealousy Factor is Very, Very Real

You can’t be the jealous type if you’re dating someone who regularly hooks up with hot people for a living. But let’s be honest—it’s tough. Seeing your man post thirst traps for thousands of strangers is one thing. Watching clips of him in action, knowing other people are enjoying it is another. And knowing he has on-screen chemistry with other guys—sometimes better than your actual chemistry? Oof.

It takes serious emotional maturity to separate work from reality and not spiral into insecurity. If you can handle it, you’re a saint. If not, well… time to date an accountant.

Final Thoughts: Can You Handle It?

Dating a gay porn star isn’t for the weak. It’s fun, it’s sexy, and yes, there are perks (hello, flexibility and stamina). But it also comes with insecurities, awkward social interactions, and the occasional existential crisis.

So, if you’re thinking about dating one, ask yourself: Can you handle the attention they get from others? Are you cool with separating work from real-life intimacy? Do you mind public shirtlessness and random posing?

If yes—congrats, you might just be built for this life. If no—well, maybe stick to fantasizing from a safe distance. 😏