By Eris Chase

Think it’s safe to say that most of us consider ourselves to be amateur  dickologists. We feel we know our cocks and holes inside and out. We spend a  lifetime conducting extensive field research (thanks, hook-up apps), and  analyzing thousands of specimens (thanks, unsolicited dickpics). But, do we  actually have our facts correct?? Are our assumptions based in real numbers or  are they akin to grandpas fish stories??? Let’s learn along together as we  ponder the real facts about dicks, holes, length, width and how much stretch is  too much stretch. Or, to put it bluntly, science is about to get a little slutty.

So… What Is Exactly Considered a “Big” Dick?  

Let’s start with the long and short of it…. Dad joke aggressively intended.  According to multiple data sets and peer reviewed research studies, the global  average for an erect penis is: (dramatic pause)  

• 5.16 inches long  

• 4.59 inches in circumference, or just under 1.5 inches in diameter  

Well, that is an unexpected number, yes? We all thought bigger, also yes? Well  well well, looks like us badies all learned a little something. Good ol 5” has  been the standard all along. The Big 5. The delightfully satisfying C student of  cock.  

That said, what is the breakdown between small and big? Those same data set  research pieces agree that a penis measuring over 6.25 inches in length or  more than 5.25 inches around starts to qualify as “Big.” Once you hit 8+ inches  in length and 6.25+ inches in girth, you’ve reached what we’ll refer to as: “WTF  is that?? And I hope you don’t think it’s going in here.” Extra Large Size Big  Fucking Dick. 

So why do so many people think 8 inches is “average”? Uhhhh…. Think we are  gonna go with…. Porn. Bless her dirty little whore heart. Porn has us believing  that anything under seven inches is just a fleshy disappointment. And, it’s got a  major swath of the population turning down high quality dick thinking 6” is far  too small. For the shame of it all!  

How Much Can a Hole Actually Stretch?  

This is where the body shows it’s elastic magic! The anal canal begins at about  1 inch in a tight and closed diameter, but the body is a wonderland. With  proper prep, patience, relaxation, and enough lube to flood a small village,  most folks anuses can comfortably stretch to accommodate 1.75 to 2 inches in  diameter, which translates to around 5.5–6.25” in girth. Well done lads.  

Plain English? Your average butthole can take your average penis—and then  some. Even cocks in the 6.5”+ girth zone can be welcomed with the right warm  up. Now, can you go beyond that? Of course! Absolutely! If our  aforementioned friendly whore with a heart of gold, porn, has shown us  anything, it’s that with the right amount of toy time, prep, determination and  partner, the final boss level anus can take far above and beyond an extra large  size big dick quite enjoyably.  

Girth vs. Length: What Matters More?  

The debate may rage in comment sections, but science, and most bottoms,  agree: girth is the star. While the rectum goes deep, the majority of nerve  endings are in the outer few inches of the anal canal. A thick cock provides that  delicious stretch and pressure that makes your eyes roll back until you can see  across space and time.  

No mistake, a long dick can make you feel filled up and absolutely railed, but  without enough girth, it may just feel… pokey. A 7 inch needle may or may not  make someone see beyond the veil. A 4.5 inch chode, though? You will hear  yourself whimper “Yes please, daddy” before the night is through. 

Can Bottoming Permanently “Stretch Out” Your Hole?  

No. This is a myth that needs to be banished. The anus is a muscle. Like any  other muscle, it stretches and contracts. After intense activity, like a proper  afternoon dicking down delight, it may feel looser and puffier for a period of  time. But given rest and care, it returns to normal.  

Many experienced bottoms can also learn to tighten and control their muscles  effectively over time. It’s not about being “tight” from lack of use, it’s about  being “tight” from having skilled control. A well trained ass can wring orgasms  from your balls quicker than you can say “Wait! I don’t want to cum yet.” Too  bad, sweetie. Try and think unsexy thoughts or use a cock ring next time,  because your bottom has major skills.  

Can a Dick Be Too Big?  

Unfortunately, for those carrying a bat between their legs, it can in fact be too  big. Not for the trained, but for the average end user, yes, a cock can be too  cumbersome.  

A dick that’s too long when going balls deep, can bump into the second rectal  curve leading to the sigmoid colon, or even the peritoneal lining. This can, and  almost always will, cause sharp and unpleasant pain to the inexperienced. In  the same vein, a cock that’s too thick could tear your sphincter or cause injury if  you’re not properly warmed up.  

This doesn’t mean size queens need to give up their big dicked hotties, it just  means that when dealing with one of these unicorn monster cocks, you need,  more foreplay, more lube and, more patience. A back up plan for pleasure in  case things just won’t go in isn’t a bad idea either. 

Can There Be too Much Water When Cleaning Out?  

Your rectum, including the anal canal, is about 6 to 8 inches in total (5-6” for the  rectum, and 1.5-2” for the anal canal) and it ends at the sigmoid colon, which  curves upward into the lower belly. The goal of douching is to clean the  rectum, not to make a U-turn into your large intestine. When you use too much  water, or go too deep with your nozzle, you bypass the rectum and start the  arduous process of cleaning the colon. Unless you’re fisting or using a snake  dildo, this is almost always waaaay more area than you need to tidy.  

We know everyone involved wants the love canal to be clean. No one wants to  have an accident before all parties have found their release. But if you’re  blasting your insides like you’re pressure washing a sidewalk, you’re doing way  more than is necessary for most fuck fests. Just a couple rounds with a bulb, 2  to 3 rinses max, and gravity doing her thing will have most right and properly  sorted.  

To Recap Just the Facts  

The average cock is a neat and orderly 5.16” long, 4.59” around. Big dicks start  at 6.25” long, 5” around. The average asshole can comfortably accommodate  up to 2” diameter. Thicker bests longer for maximum sensation. No, babes,  your hole won’t “stay loose” after bottoming. Yes, Virginia, a dick can be “too  big” without prep, but that’s not the dick’s fault, it’s your collective planning.  Over douching is 100% a thing. Lube, patience, prep and consent are still non  negotiable.  

So, go! Get out there and get you a little some! Be proud, be safe, be stretch  forward, and most importantly, fuck like you mean it! .