A PSA For the Straight Guys Coming to Gay Clubs

Alright, sweetie, grab a drink, pull up a stool, and let’s have a kiki, because it’s time for a little heart-to-heart... or should I say, hard truth. Lately, I’ve been noticing more and more straight boys showing up in our sacred gay spaces — the bars, the clubs, the dancefloors where we let our glitter fly free. Now, don’t get me wrong, darlings: I’m not saying you’re not welcome. You are (well, most of you). But let's get something straight (pun fully intended): when you roll up to a gay club, you need to check your delicate feelings at the door.

Sweetie, You Came to the Gay Zoo – Don't Be Shocked If We Gawk

If you’re in our club, you need to know the rules. One of those rules is: if you’re hot and look like you’ve spent more than five minutes at the gym, you WILL get hit on. It's what we do, darling. Just like how straight guys shoot their shot when they see a cute girl in a hetero bar, we will shoot our shot with you. If that’s going to ruffle your feathers, maybe stay home with Netflix and your right hand. But don’t come into our glitter-filled, strobe-light-bathed wonderland, where half-naked men are gyrating, and act surprised when someone buys you a drink or gives you a wink from across the dance floor.

Honestly, the only thing more predictable than me crying during an Adele song is a straight guy acting all offended when he gets a little attention in a gay club. Babe, you came to the zoo; of course the animals are going to look at you.

No Need for a Gay Panic—We Don’t Bite (Unless You Want Us To)

I get it: you’re here with your friends, having a good time, and suddenly, a fabulous gay man (or several) starts flirting with you. Don’t freak out, baby. We’re harmless — well, most of us. But if you’re not into it, just kindly say, “Thanks, but I’m straight,” and we’ll move right along. There’s no need to start clutching your pearls like some midwestern soccer mom. We’ve all been rejected before, and trust me, your polite “no thanks” won’t crush our spirits.

But let’s be real, straight boys: the fact that you’re hanging out in a gay club might just mean you’re curious. It’s okay! It’s 2024! Sexuality is fluid, and the gay club is a safe place to explore. But if you’re not curious, stop acting like we’ve committed some mortal sin by looking at you. You’re cute. We noticed. Life goes on.

Why Are YOU Offended When WE Hit on YOU in OUR Space?

I have a question for you, straight boy: Why are you acting like we owe you an apology for making a move in our own house? This is our space — a place we created because, for decades, we were told that we didn’t belong in yours. Gay bars and clubs are sacred; they’re the temples where we come to dance, flirt, and be unapologetically ourselves without judgment or shame.

So, when you roll up in your tight jeans, high-fiving your bros and pretending you’re in some ironic 80s music video, don’t act surprised when you get a little attention. It’s part of the experience, darling. If you walk into a gay club, don’t expect us to tiptoe around your masculinity like we’re walking on eggshells. You're here, and you’re gonna get hit on.

Maybe It’s Time to Play Hardcore Gay Porn Again...

Now, I’m not saying it’s time to bring back the good old days when gay bars had explicit porn playing on every TV screen (although… no judgment here). But hear me out: maybe it’s time to bring back some of that raunch to remind y’all why these spaces exist in the first place. If you’re uncomfortable watching two guys go at it on screen, maybe that’s your sign that you’re in the wrong club.

We’ve created spaces for ourselves, places where we can actually be free from straight people’s judgment. It’s all well and good that you’re here to party, but if you’re too fragile to handle the fact that we’re hitting on you (again, in a gay space), maybe consider hanging out at your local sports bar instead.

Dear Straight Boys: If You Can’t Handle the Heat, Get Out of the Disco

Listen, it’s all love. We adore allies and the fun, chill straight boys who come to the gay club and actually get it. But if you’re a straight man who can’t deal with some flirty gay boys and still expects to come and party in our spaces... woof, we need to talk. You’re missing the whole point of gay clubs.

The rainbow flag isn’t just for show, honey. It’s a symbol of acceptance, love, and community — and we built this space so we could feel that, for once. So when you come into our home, show some respect for the culture, the vibes, and the boys who built it. It’s not your high school gym, babe. It's our place.

So, PSA to all the straight guys who think the gay club is just another stop on their party tour: Welcome! We’re happy to have you. But also, know your place, sweetie. If you’re gonna walk into our world, prepare to get hit on, complimented, maybe even danced with. Don’t be offended, don’t get weird, and certainly don’t act like you didn’t know what you signed up for.

And if you can’t handle it? Well, honey, the door swings both ways (just like some of your bros). 💅