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Ask Agatha: I Got Catfished But He Was Still Hot
Dear Agatha,
So, I matched with this absolute god on a dating app—think jawline so sharp it could slice prosciutto and abs that looked like they were personally sculpted by Michelangelo. The banter was great, the vibes were vibing, and I was ready to risk it all. We planned a date, and I showed up looking like my best self—fresh haircut, best cologne, and the tightest jeans my ass could handle.
But then… I saw him. And, girl, he was not the man in the photos. The bone structure? Different. The hair? Not the same. But—and this is where it gets weird—he was still really hot. Like, in a different way? The discount Zac Efron I thought I was meeting turned out to be more of a Latin Daddy with arms that could bench press my entire emotional baggage.
When I called him out on the catfishing, he admitted that he used a fake photo because he was “private” and “didn’t want to put himself out there like that.” But he swore he wasn’t lying about anything else.
So, Agatha, am I a fool for still wanting to jump his bones? Or is this a massive red flag waving in my horny little face?
Sincerely,
Conflicted & Thirsty
Dear Conflicted & Thirsty,
Oh, honey. This is like ordering filet mignon and getting a really good burger instead. Sure, you’re still eating well, but you didn’t order this!
Let’s get one thing straight: Catfishing is a massive violation of trust. If he lied about his face, what else is he hiding? A husband? A criminal record? A secret husband with a criminal record?? A red flag this big should come with its own marching band. 🚩🎺
Now, since you’ve already mentally undressed him (and let’s be real, probably physically too), I’ll give you two options:
1. If you absolutely must, ride him like a rented mule—but then run! Do not get emotionally invested in someone who started things with deception.
2. Be the grown-up (ugh, I know) and cut things off. Hot or not, honesty is sexier than any biceps in the world.
If you stick around thinking, Oh, but maybe he’s just shy! Maybe he had a good reason!, let me tell you: Shy people don’t create entire fake personas; they just use bad lighting and avoid FaceTime.
So, my advice? Trust your gut… and your better judgment. And if you do decide to go for a test ride, at least make sure he sends a real selfie next time.
Stay safe, stay smart, and stay sexy. 😘
XOXO,
Agatha
