Ask Agatha: My Boyfriend Peed His Pants and It Turned Me On

Dear Agatha,

OK, so I’m just going to say it, and I hope you don’t judge me for this one, because girl, it’s a wild ride: my boyfriend peed his pants, and instead of feeling bad for him… it kinda turned me on?! 🤯

Let me back it up for you because this situation has more layers than a drag queen’s wig. My boyfriend, Jake (we’ll call him Jake, even though he might kill me if he ever found out I told anyone), and I were at this outdoor music festival. You know, the kind of place where the port-a-potties look like scenes from a horror movie? So, we’re vibing, dancing, having the best time, and of course, we’ve been drinking those overpriced festival drinks with zero regrets. At some point, it hit Jake that he needed to pee—like BADLY. But the line for the port-a-potties? Girl, it was longer than the list of men who think they’re "masc."

Jake, bless his heart, was holding it like a champ… until he wasn’t. We were standing there, chatting, when I noticed this panicked look on his face. Then suddenly, I saw it. That unmistakable wetness spreading down his leg, his eyes wide with horror. He had officially lost the battle. 😳

Now, here’s where things get weird. As I watched this moment unfold—the pure embarrassment, the helplessness, the sheer humanity of it—something stirred in me. And no, I’m not talking about sympathy or secondhand embarrassment. I’m talking about something much more... primal. I know, it’s crazy. But I couldn't help it!

Jake, on the other hand, was MORTIFIED. We dashed out of there so fast, I swear we broke some kind of speed record. He kept apologizing, clearly upset and embarrassed, and honestly, I didn’t want to add to his trauma. But while he was beating himself up, I was low-key (okay, high-key) thinking, "Wait, why did that make me feel... things?"

Now, it's been a few days, and every time I think about it, I get a little turned on. Who knew I had a thing for this kind of stuff?! But here’s the dilemma, Agatha: how do I bring this up to Jake? He’s still super sensitive about the whole situation, and the last thing I want to do is make him feel worse. I don’t want him to think I’m some kind of freak for being turned on by his most embarrassing moment. But like… it’s there, and I don’t know what to do with it!

Sincerely,

Turned-On But Terrified

Dear Turned-On But Terrified,

Oh honey, what a situation you’ve found yourself in! First of all, NO JUDGMENT HERE. We’ve all got our little kinks and turn-ons that catch us off guard. The heart (and let’s be real, the crotch) wants what it wants, right?

So, let’s unpack this wet little moment, shall we? Here you are, at a festival, jamming out with your man, and next thing you know, he’s having his very own waterworks show—only it wasn’t planned, and it definitely wasn’t cute to him. Meanwhile, your mind is like, “Wait, why am I… kinda into this?!” Honestly, sometimes our brains and bodies like to throw us curveballs, and it seems like that’s exactly what happened to you, babe. And that’s OK!

Here’s what you need to remember: Jake is clearly still mortified by what happened. In his mind, it’s an embarrassing accident, and chances are he’s replaying it in his head with absolute dread. The last thing he wants to think about is you getting all hot and bothered while he was suffering his personal horror story.

So, what do you do? First of all, you WAIT. This is not a conversation for the immediate future. Let the poor boy heal from the trauma of his pants-drenching disaster. Give him time to forget about it and recover his dignity. The last thing you want is to hit him with, “So babe, about that thing you did in your pants…” before he’s emotionally ready to laugh about it. (Trust me, it could get awkward real fast.)

Once some time has passed—and I’m talking at least a few weeks or a month—you can test the waters (pun intended). See if he’s in a better headspace about the whole incident. Maybe crack a joke about that time you guys went to the festival and hint at the incident to gauge his reaction. If he laughs it off and seems less traumatized, THEN (and only then) could you consider dipping your toe into the conversation about your newfound kink.

But girl, and I can’t stress this enough, you need to tread lightly! You don’t want to come off like you were gleefully enjoying his misfortune. You could say something like, “You know, I was thinking about that day at the festival, and it was kind of hot seeing you so vulnerable…” See how he reacts. If he seems open to it, great! You’ve opened up a new chapter in your relationship, and who knows where it could lead.

BUT (and this is a big “but”), if he still seems upset or uncomfortable, drop it. You’ll need to be content with just thinking about it on your own… in private… maybe when he’s not home. 😏

At the end of the day, you’re not wrong for discovering a new kink, but it’s all about timing and sensitivity, babe. You’ve got to respect your partner’s feelings while navigating your own desires.

And remember, it’s not that wild to have unexpected turn-ons. Trust me, I’ve heard far crazier stories than this. The key is communication, understanding, and—most importantly—timing. So, be patient, bide your time, and if all else fails… there’s always the power of fantasy. 😉

Good luck, and stay hydrated! 💦

XOXO,
Agatha